What I love most about my work
Is that moment when things click.
It’s my greatest privilege as a psychologist to be present when clients understand something new about themselves or their circumstances.
Being caught in old stories and unhealthy coping patterns is painful.
Through knowledge, reflection, and intentional action, it becomes possible to make life in Denmark meaningful and sustainable without loosing what is true to oneself.
Therapy can be life-changing. And my mission is to provide this service to internationals in Denmark.
Hi, I am Julia.
When my partner first mentioned a job in Odense in 2014, I had to google the place. I had never heard of it. Still, I said yes and followed him here.
The move launched his career as a scientist, and ended mine. Fresh out of Oxford with a PhD in mathematical models of eco-evolutionary dynamics, I could not get a job in Denmark.
As a woman in my early thirties, I also had to decide about children. I spent a few years alternating between maternity leaves and short-term research contracts before finally pulling the plug on this pointless meandering.
I chose to re-train. I completed a certified coaching education and then studied psychology from scratch.
Today, I am an activist for the rights of internationals in Denmark. I am a therapist for internationals who want to do the deep work of making life here meaningful, despite the obstacles. And, at times—though less now than in the past—I also work with companies on the inclusion of their international employees.
I am originally from Germany and began my international life in my early twenties with a move to Spain. After that came South Africa, Madagascar, Sweden, and England, before I finally landed in Denmark a decade later, where I now raise tri-cultural children in the country I learned to love.
My Point of View:
The Deep Work of Making Life in Denmark Meaningful, Despite the Obstacles
For many internationals, moving to Denmark comes with unforeseen challenges that last longer than expected. There is an endless succession of practical hurdles to master. But even after those are sorted, internationals commonly struggle with being content in Denmark.
Many feel isolated, out of place, stuck in constant survival mode, and lack a sense of belonging. For some this turns into a "should I stay or should I go" situation, others are eventually forced to leave, and again others would maybe like to leave but feel unable to.
Old coping patterns from the past may emerge. We may begin to avoid certain situations, feel anxious or depressed, or use food, drugs, or other means to help us feel better, at least in the short term.
I am convinced that all of us can create a life in Denmark that feels full and meaningful. But it takes work to get to know ourselves and our context, to learn how to consistently make good choices, and to build connections to the people around us.
In my opinion, it takes these three elements to create a meaningful life in Denmark:
Context, Choice, and Connection
Context: Understand yourself and the people around you
We live in an outer world that we experiences through our senses. We then process what we perceive and react. We also have inner experiences, thoughts and feelings, that influence our behaviour, our body, and each other. We have a past, and thoughts about the future. These are the outer and inner contexts of our lives.
Much of how we experience the world and how we act is habitual. We learned it during our development. When we move from the country where we grew up to a new country, our outer context changes. That holds for our immediate environment, our home, friends, and family connections, but also for our extended environment, the culture, social, economic, and political system, and social norms.
In my experience, internationals commonly underestimate the impact this has on the psyche. The habitual ways of interacting with the outer world, and relating to the inner world, seem to not work anymore. They create disconnection from others and from ourselves.
Therefore, if the aim is to make life in Denmark meaningful, despite the obstacles, it is vital to understand both the outer and inner contexts, the society and people of Denmark, and our inner workings.
Choice: Small, deliberate steps
Many things are entirely outside our control. The weather, the stereotypes people hold about us, and the thoughts that pop into our head.
Other things feel like they are outside our control. We seem to repeat the same unhealthy behaviours, end in the same relationship dynamics, and believe the same old stories about ourselves.
The power lies in understanding that what happens to us is often outside our control, but how we act is our choice. That holds for the outer context, when we can choose how to interact with people and circumstances, and for the inner context, when we can choose how to relate and interact with our feelings, thoughts, and physical sensations.
It's simple. But it's not easy.
What is crucial is to have a road map of one's individual purpose and values. These we can use to change from reacting habitually to responding deliberately, and thus make tiny, one-degree changes in our lives, that over time create a new reality. One choice at a time.
